I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
