Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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