see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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