Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
