A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
