You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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