My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
