We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
dude. I can hear the air.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
