come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
