A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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