i don't like sucking hair
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize