I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In other news, I just burned my penis
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
