I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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