just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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