Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
