since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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