im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Operation Purity has been aborted
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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