Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
