Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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