she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
