He is such a slut. More and more my type.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
