I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
