My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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