If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
