i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
