you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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