Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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