my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
