Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
