Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize