There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong