My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops