We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.