Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
