just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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