she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
