Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
