I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We got so high we made milksteak
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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