I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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