did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
