i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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