i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
