the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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