let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
