I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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