Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
