turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
