i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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