Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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