Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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