At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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