Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
