a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
