Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
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I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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