So how was he last night?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago