the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?