drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
