is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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