Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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