i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
