my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
