Im at strip club and am horny
Kiss
Puke
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
