I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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