This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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