Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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