there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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