I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
