Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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