i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
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I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma