I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
