Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo