Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill

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  (206): I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill http://tfl.nu/rtkb
  Replies (23) Good night (5541) Bad night (558)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??

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  (309): why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat?? http://tfl.nu/gupl
  Replies (18) Good night (4762) Bad night (1136)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.

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  (303): we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks. http://tfl.nu/6rdh
  Replies (6) Good night (3410) Bad night (951)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.

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  (920): I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant. http://tfl.nu/9xux
  Replies (1) Good night (2432) Bad night (878)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...

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  (573): I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were... http://tfl.nu/299s
  Replies (8) Good night (3185) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.

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  (204): Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day. http://tfl.nu/31tb
  Replies (24) Good night (3987) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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  (330): I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date. http://tfl.nu/3kpf
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (422)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.

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  (210): What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that. http://tfl.nu/vntm
  Replies (12) Good night (1686) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories

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  (719): No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories http://tfl.nu/o049
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1433) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle

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  (570): Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle http://tfl.nu/qz61
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!

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  (712): Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica! http://tfl.nu/c9lo
  Replies (5) Good night (513) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people

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  (425): Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people http://tfl.nu/m00z
  Replies (8) Good night (773) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.

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  (804): My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost. http://tfl.nu/72vv
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday

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  (603): See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday http://tfl.nu/izo0
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (269)

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